Loss

Today has been a hard day. I got a phone call from Justin this morning at about 1am our time, and of course when the phone rings that early in the morning and from my experiences, it's usually not good news. My heart started pounding especially since Justin is in Afghanistan of course my mind went straight to panic mode!! Justin's voice was shaky and he stated "I have bad news." My heart sank, and that is when he told me our dear friend Doc had passed away from a massive heart attack the night before. Justin met Doc while working at the Depot many years ago. They became very good friends and eventually became commuting partners to and from work. They also established a very close friendship bond and Justin sometimes thought of Doc as a "father figure." They enjoyed listening to the "oldies" station to and from work, and also established a relationship outside of work. Doc then decided since the Depot would eventually close at some point, he entered a new program in the government, and moved away and entered into the QASAS program, and a year later, Justin too joined him in Oklahoma and entered into the same program and they lived together for a few months before Doc was transferred to Hawthorne Nevada to do an internship as a new QASAS. A year later, we then were transfer to Hawthorne Nevada and Justin and he once again joined forces and worked together for about 9 months, before we were transferred back to Pendleton. In Hawthorne we all maintained a close friendship and then once we moved to Pendleton Doc was deployed to Iraq, and once he returned to Nevada, he and his wife Marna were transferred over seas to Germany, and that is where Doc passed away of a massive heart attack last night. We still don't know the details at this point, but are very saddened by this sudden loss, he was only 58 yrs old. Justin had just received an email from him about a week ago, stating things were going well for him in Germany and that he was glad Justin was safe and sound in Afghanistan. It is so hard to lose a loved one, and especially under the circumstances, Justin feels very much alone, and helpless. How do you grieve a loss of a loved one when you never get to say goodbye??

Also I received news last night that my uncle from California had lost his battle with prostrate cancer...it has been a rough go for our family when it comes to loss. Last year I lost my grandma Mary, my aunt Joan, my aunt Carolyn, and now my uncle Tom, and Doc....life just doesn't make sense to me right now...I know that all things happen for a reason, and God has a purpose for each and everyone of us but right now, I really don't want to hear those words from anyone...I do not understand and someday I'm sure I will, but for now, my grieve is great. Rest in Peace Tom and Doc, I'm sure we will meet again someday, until then, know you will be missed and were loved.

Dream

Lastnight, I had a dream about my brother Brian. It was so strange, and has left me feeling empty this morning. My brother Brian passed away 7 yrs ago, so having such a vivid dream about him was very strange. The dream went something like this: I was sitting in a bar and in came my brother in a wheel chair. I remember being so excited to see him, I had told him "it had been so many years, and I was wondering where he was?" He could speak to me, but it was very hard for me to hear him, I had to put my ear right next to his mouth to understand what he was saying. He said that he had been in an accident and was suffering from brain damage. He wasn't able to walk, but could move around freely in his wheelchair. I told him "mom and dad were worried about him, since they hadn't heard from him so long as I hadn't either." He assured me he was okay, just living with some guy, I don't recall???? Then I woke up and was feeling very empty and sad. The dream was somewhat true, Brian died of a traumatic brain injury do to his motorcycle wreak and I haven't seen him in over 7 yrs, but when you dream so vividly and can actually remember their face, and what they sounded like is so nostalgic and I really miss that guy. I just recently visited his grave and chatted with him for a bit, so maybe this is what sparked this dream, but it was just too real, and left me feeling so empty, and sad for my family that it has been 7 yrs since we have seen his bright shining smile.

Back In P-town

Well as most of you already know I'm currently back in Pendleton. It has been a very long and stressful move back home. I really didn't think it would be very hard to find a place to live that was affordable and nice, but I had another thing coming! After a month and a half of searching everyday we finally found our little house. It's on North Hill in a nice neighborhood and it's very "homey." It's a 3 bedroom, with a full basement, or other wise known to my husband and son as the "man room" which is fine with me, they can escape to the basement and I will get to watch all of my shows on TV while they are playing!!!!! I never thought I would be happy to be back in Pendleton, but I'm thrilled that I get to be closer to my family, I mean in life, family is really the most important thing to me, so for that matter I'm happy to be home. I do not miss Nevada in the very least, I do miss some of the people that I met along the way, and of course seeing the sunshine everyday, but very glad that I didn't have to spend another minute in Hawthorne, leaving it in my rear view mirror was complete joy!!!! So here's to my time in P-town for I will not be here too long, just when I seem to get comfortable we will be getting that call again, TIME TO MOVE, and then the stress will start all over again, so for now I'm going to enjoy being HOME!!!

A Treasure

I have a new obsession, known as the art of Australian Locker Rug Hooking. I saw my aunt Jackie creating a neat rug last summer while I was camping with her, and it peaked my interest, and so the obsession began. It is made of scrap fabric cut into one inch strips, and then with a special tool, it is woven through a gridded canvas. I have made wonderful scrappy rugs, and this is my favorite patterned rug I made for my niece Madison. As you can see I stamped her name in the middle and made her a treasure that I hope she will cherish for a long time. Madison is very special to me because she is my first niece and she holds a very special place in my heart, and so on Valentine's day I wanted to give her something special and so this is what I made! She calls it her "isty" short for "Cristy" and she dances on it and carries it around with her where- ever she goes. This is a photo of her dancing on her new rug!

Madison sitting on her rug

The finished product

My Wiener Dogs.....

I have two wiener dogs and their names are Marley and Riley. Marley is the first one I got in Pendleton and she is considered a miniature Dapple as she has grey, brown and black spots, she is 2 years old. Riley is a standard miniature wiener dog and she is the red one, and Justin and I bought her in Oklahoma while Justin was going to school there, he thought he needed a friend while I was away! Riley is 1 years old. They both have very different personalities. Marley is more like an "old lady" while Riley is full of "piss and vinegar" and has a bark that hurts your ears!! Marley is more independent and Riley is a snuggle bug who thinks she has to be on my lap ALL of the time. I actually treat them as if they are human, they even sleep in my bed, I know Caesar you would be so disappointed in me, but when they give me those sad looking eyes I just can't resist them! Even though they are a pain sometimes, I love them dearly, they truly are part of our family and life just wouldn't be the same without them!!!

Precious

Precious: Rare, valuable, very special, or dear, my niece Madison.

I got to spend 5 days over the Thanksgiving holiday with my niece Madison, she flew to Nevada on a jet plane(her first plane ride) with my parents, and here are just a few things I want to remember about her time here.

1. She has the prettiest blue eyes I have ever seen!

2. She is the busiest 14 month old I have ever been around...

3. She is the smartest 14 month old I have ever seen (no I'm not partial.)

4. She loves to say "O WOW."

5. She loves books.

6. She loves her papa very much!

7. She makes me laugh!

8. She blows kisses.

9. She is independent

10. SHE RULES THE ROOST!!!!!!

I'm so thankful for Madison as she is a gift from God a true Miracle, she is so squeezable, huggable, as if you could eat her, she is the sweetest little girl and I'm so proud to be her aunty, I love to spoil her, and I hope to make many fond memories with her and I together, and that she will one day call me her "favorite auntie in the whole world" as I have one of those myself.