Stand Still......

Time feels like I'm at a stand still at the moment. 145 more days until I get to see Justin and I'm starting to feel like it's never going to get here. We haven't even gotten to the 2 month mark yet and it feels like a million years since I last seen him. As the days start to get longer, it feels like it's only longer until I see him again. I'm trying my best to stay as busy as I can in Pendleton, but it's not easy. The 4 walls in my house are starting to get on my nerves...not having a full time job, and a job where I don't interact with people only makes it alot harder. I think the time is going faster for Justin since he works 12 hrs shifts and then just basically goes to sleep and then starts his day all over again..and he has a lot of people to interact with throughout his workday, where as I do not. I'm trying to stay positive but today isn't a positive day for me. I also slipped going down the stairs and tweaked my neck and it's been hurting me for a couple of days now, not fun!

Also feel a bit terrible, I got into a little argument with Tristin this morning about being a responsible teenager and dropped him off at school after yelling at him most of the morning...doesn't make me feel like a very good mother, and I know I shouldn't do that, but I pretty much snapped, having to be the "mom and dad" makes this job harder than I had expected. Normally Justin is the one who does most of the discipline and now it's on my shoulders, and Tristin keeps saying "I've changed" yup I'm now you father too, hahahaha! Anyway August 1st can't get here soon enough, I knew this separation was going to be tough on all of us, but not this tough, I'm ready for this deployment to be in my past...and only just a memory!